7. Woman the Oars
Dear Sister in Islam,
61. Once you were a victim, now you are a survivor. Narcissistic abuse is a catastrophically destructive force, much like a Category 5 hurricane you didn’t see coming, that struck you without warning, leaving devastation and destruction in its wake.
62. You will need to pick up and examine every single piece of what makes up your life. You will need to decide which piece you will choose to keep and which to discard. What served you once in the past, may no longer serve you in the present. You have to make peace with that.
63. Be tolerant and patient of the change that will relentlessly be thrust upon you. It won’t be easy but change is inevitable.
64. Have love, respect, grace, kindness, gentleness, empathy, and compassion for yourself and what you have been through, as you grieve, heal, learn, grow, thrive and move forward.
65. Woman the oars, one stroke at a time, building muscle slowly, with patience and perseverance.
66. There will be ups and downs. There will be a multitude of set backs. There will be progress and regress. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be caring to yourself.
67. It is like rebuilding a new you from the ground up, piece by piece, consciously choosing to live again with a new reality.
68. Growth only happens in the discomfort of being raw, real, true, vulnerable and courageous. You have to be willing to face your inner weaknesses, while appreciating your strengths.
69. You are a work in progress. Even if no one else sees or hears you, your Creator does. He knows what is in your heart. He knows your struggles. He knows what happened to you. He knows how you handled it. He knows you are tired and weary. He knows everything.
70. The best thing you can do for your children is to focus on your own inner and outer healing, whatever that takes and however long that takes. Know that healing isn’t linear. Sometimes it’s two steps forward, three steps back. There will be good days, so so days, hard days and very difficult days. Take it one day at a time.
