Ramadan Reflections 1444/2023 Part 19
On Relationships
There are three fundamental types of relationships we establish, build and nurture in the short worldly life that we are currently upon.
Relationships need truth, trust, mercy, respect, and love to be nourished, in order to grow, thrive and be sustained over time. If these relationships are not oriented, prioritised and nurtured correctly, then we can bring upon ourselves a boat load of pain, heartache and anguish. I speak from personal experience.
On The Vertical Plane
1. The Relationship with Allah
There is only ONE relationship of VERTICAL importance and that is the one between myself and my Creator. With this Divine Relationship, also comes my relationship with His Book, His Prophet ﷺ and Islamic Scholarship (who are the inheritors of the Prophets), by extension. All other relationships listed below are on the HORIZONTAL plane of importance and they must be placed as such. This where we fall into the trap of becoming too attached to people, places, things, and the idealistic expectations of flawed creatures living flawed lives.
On The Horizontal Plane
2. The Relationship with Me
This is the internal relationship with myself. This relationship takes into account by whole being, including my body, which houses my intellect, my spiritual heart, my nafs or egotistical self, and my soul. These components form the essence of who I am, how I relate to myself, how I relate to My Lord and the Divine Realm, and how I relate to other human beings and the rest of the creation of the world.
3. The Relationships with Others
(i) The familial relationships between myself and parents, spouse, children and extended family.
(ii) The relationships with my closest righteous companions (suhbah saliha).
(iii) The relationships with my neighbours, colleagues, acquaintances, strangers, and the community at large.
(iv) And lastly, there are the relationships with other animate and inanimate creation (other creatures, the natural world, material goods etc.).
The Blessed Month of Ramadan, 2/3 of which has sadly already elapsed, is truly the time to really reflect upon our relationship with Our Creator, with His Book, with His Prophet ﷺ, and the relationship with our very own self, and then with all the other people in our lives, in the quest for fulfilling the purpose of Ramadan and attaining the following 3 States of Consciousness...
1. TAQWA (transcendent God-centric consciousness and awareness)
2. SHUKR (gratitude for manifest blessings)
3. RUSHD (rightly guided certainty)
Now the question is not only ‘Where then are you going?’ But also the question is ‘Who are you travelling with?’
All of us, without doubt, are already upon our return journey to Allah, and we can either be escorted towards the gates of jannah (paradise) or be dragged towards the gates of jahannam (purgatory), by the relationships that we have.
Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet,ﷺ, said, “A man is upon the religion (deen) of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.”
[Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2378]
Abu Hurairah reported: Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "There are three signs of a hypocrite: When he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he is trusted, he betrays his trust."
[Sunan Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
والله أعلم
