Ramadan Reflections 1444/2023 Part 24
Surah 58 Al-Mujadilah/ The Woman who Pleaded
Have you heard the story of Khauwlah bint Thalabah, of the Khazraj tribe, who came to complain to the Messenger of God ﷺ about the verbal and psychological abuse she was subjected to by her husband?
Her husband, much older than her, bad-tempered, and verbally abusive had an argument with her; and he said to her in the course of the argument, “Verily you are to me like my mother’s back, meaning you are no longer like my wife because now you are like my mother (a common practice in pre-Islamic ignorant Arabia called ‘zihar’). The next day he comes back, as if nothing happened, to resume his spousal relationship with his wife. Khauwlah, being a strong women of dignity and honour, refused; Khauwlah then took her hurt and complaint to the Messenger of God ﷺ, upon which, the revelation of an entire chapter came down to address the emotional and psychological abuse of Khauwlah bint Thalabah.
Allah heard Khauwlah above the seven heavens, even when no one else did, as she whispered her complaint to the Prophet ﷺ. Allah responded to Khauwlah’s complaint by revealing Surah Al-Mujadilah. One woman’s complaint of verbal and emotional abuse, caused the revelation of an entire chapter. It’s noteworthy to point out that this is the only chapter in the Qur’an, where Allah’s name is mentioned in every single ayat (verse), according to Shaykh Omar Suleiman. It is as if Allah is saying, that He heard this woman’s grievance, when no one else did, because He is above all of us. We have to be mindful of that in our dealings with one another because Allah Sees and Hears all things.
قَدْ سَمِعَ ٱللَّهُ قَوْلَ ٱلَّتِى تُجَـٰدِلُكَ فِى زَوْجِهَا وَتَشْتَكِىٓ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ وَٱللَّهُ يَسْمَعُ تَحَاوُرَكُمَآ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ سَمِيعٌۢ بَصِيرٌ ١
The opening verse states “Indeed, Allah has heard the argument of the woman who pleaded with you ˹O Prophet˺ concerning her husband, and appealed to Allah. Allah has heard your exchange. Surely Allah is All-Hearing, All-Seeing.”
Why?
Because this isn’t a light matter. Just because no one else hears what happens behind closed doors, have no doubt whatsoever, that Allah sees and hears all things. He knows what is happening. There will be accountability and justice. If not in this world, then for a certainty in the next world. Islam doesn’t sanction such vile abusive and oppressive behaviour, nor do any one of us have to passively accept it because it is the societal norm or ’taboo’ to talk about.
As Muslims, we don’t define the ‘norm,' what is haraam and halal, or what is acceptable and unacceptable, by any other standards except that which is from the Qur’an and Sunnah and taught by the Ijma. Islam, with Allah’s comprehensive commandments,and the embodiment of The Qur’an in Prophetic Character (he ﷺ is the embodiment of the Qur’an), came to prevent harm in a time of immense and widespread injustice, especially towards women, children, the needy, the wayfarer, the downtrodden and the marginalised in the community.
Lessons from the Story of Khauwlah
1. She took her complaint to the Messenger of God ﷺ because he was the leader and in a power of authority. She is absolutely confident that the Prophet ﷺ does not condone injustice and this is not backbiting when harm and injustice has occurred. Today, the imams stand in this role; many tell the women to be patient, to make duaa, without offering concrete solutions or assistance in navigating such complex matters, or worse, they collude and support the abusers. Each one will be held accountable.
2. The social ills and injustices of the day weren’t hidden. They were openly addressed within the community and solutions were found for those in need of help. No community ills were ‘taboo’ because what simmers beneath the surface eventually affects everyone.
3. Allah heard her, even when no one else did, and sent down immediate revelation. Know the power of this and turn to Allah because He is the Lord of the Worlds.
4. Words have consequences. There has to be ATONEMENT and RESTORATIVE JUSTICE through ACTION. It is a GRAVE matter indeed to abuse another human being, a creature of God.
5. HEFTY consequences and redressing of wrong PREVENTS reoccurrence. Here are the 3 options: free a slave, or fast two consecutive months or feed 60 people. These are by no means easy acts to accomplish but there is RESTORATIVE JUSTICE, APOLOGY and ATONEMENT.
6. We cannot harm other human beings and expect there to be no accountability or repercussions. Each one will be held accountable for their actions. The Prophet said ‘The best of you are the best to your families.” He spoke from the lens of his own example in his own homes.
7. Khauwlah didn’t want to leave her husband; What she wanted was VALIDATION of her grievances and PREVENTION of future abuse and oppression.
8. The women around the Messenger of God ﷺ were strong, knowledgeable, empowered women, whose voices were heard loud and clear in the masajid space. These women stood their ground and fought for the rights Islam gave us. These women are our role models. Don't let anyone teach you that Islam orders women to stay home and be quiet; to be patient and smile through your pain without doing anything about your situation.
9. Note, that there was no barrier in the Messenger of God's ﷺ masjid. Women had access to their Imam and they would stand up and speak up should they feel the need to do so. Men need to stop chasing women away from the Houses of God and shutting up our voices. The woman who has no voice in her mosque will have no voice in her home.
10. Allah, the Messenger of God ﷺ, the Qur'an, and Islam elevates the status of women, dignifies us with rights, and honours us in a beautiful manner. What is worth emphasising here, is that the incident of Khawlah’s complaint being heard by Allah Almighty, and the coming down of the Divine Command immediately to redress her grievance, was an event that earned her a place of honor and esteem among the companions.
This is why it is crucial that Muslim women need to know and understand the teachings of the Quran, have a comprehensive understanding of the Prophetic Way, and learn about the women of the Qur’an and those around the Prophet ﷺ. Really it must be said that, when it comes to abuse and oppression of innocent women and children in the Muslim Community, the irony and hypocrisy of those who abuse and enable abusers and abusive behaviour to continue and perpetuate, by pretending to support matters pertaining to domestic violence in the Muslim home, is utterly nauseating. It’s because of the enablers in the community, that abusers get away scot free with their abuse. It’s such a consolation that there is Day of Reckoning for accountability and restorative justice for those who do not receive it here in this world. Alhamdulillah.
والله أعلم
